


Morty's Buttery Encounter

by peppyk



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppyk/pseuds/peppyk
Summary: Morty piccs up some supplies for Ricc for his latest advance in technology that will change the world as we know it.





	1. The Worst Ending

Morty is walking to the store, alone. Ricc needs him to picc up supplies for his latest invention, the butter thrower. It throws butter. So he is going to the butter aisle. As he turns the corner he notices a strange man.

"I'm gonna get you, Morty," says the man. He smells like pee so Morty ignores him.

Morty picks up the butter he needs and some other household essentials like milk and strange magazines. As he leaves the supermarket he notices a dark alley, which is a shortcut to his house. _YOLO,_ he thinks and walks through.

However as he is walking, he meets the hobo from earlier. "I’M GONNA GET YOU, MORTY!!" screeches the hobo, his shrill voice akin to the high pitched Neanderthal voice theory, and he charges forward at Morty with a knife.

Morty shrieks and runs away from the hobo, increasing speed as he reaches his house and locks the door behind him. He is safe, for now.

He meets Rick in the garage, working on his butter thrower. "Did you get the things I neURRRPded?" asks Rick.

“Yea Rick, I got everyth-" and Morty raises his hand with the grocery bag, but his hand is empty. And with a gasp of horror, he realizes.......He had dropped the grocery bag back in the dark alley!

Ricc's face is full of disgust, and shame. "I-I-I'm not raising you to be a liaURRRP Morty." He points out the open garage door. "Go and URPP get what I asked you!" He has been drinking.

"B-b-bu-bu-bu-but Rick," the fear is evident on Morty's face. "I-I didn't--A hobo- he was gonna get me Rick. h-he--he-h-he was gonna get me. I-i- just narrowly escaped but he -"

"Wat? There aren’t any hobos out here. URRRP!" With 1 hand Ricc is working on his butter thrower and with the other hand he is pointing out the open garage door. "Go and be a useful URRRP Morty."

Morty resigns to his fate. "Alright," he says, sighing. He wonders if his bag is still in the alley as he scouts for crazy hobos on the streets, running quickly to the entrance of the grocery store.

He walks in through the doors, feeling safer now indoors with the air conditioner blasting to his face and assaulting his hair with a light breeze. The grocery store greeter greets him.

But wait.......since when did this grocery store have greeters? He looks up. This isn’t Walmart. This is Fresh Co. Oh no....... He walks faster, and does not look back as he remembers what the greeter had said to him: "I'm gonna get you, Morty."

He reaches the butter aisle again and picks up a lot of butter. He is going to need a lot of spare butter for tonight.

As he nears the cash register he notices something horrible in his pockets. Or rather, something that is not in his pockets. It is money. He doesn't have enough money for all the butter and magazines that he bought.

Now that he had already bought a lot of butter and magazines before, how would he ever get the money? He couldn't abandon the butter and magazines he had right now. It would be a sin. It would be a sin to part with these gorgeous sticks of butter and piles of magazines he held in his arms right now. What would he do?

Maybe he would just have to sin. A tear rolls down his cheek as he dumps the butter and magazines. There is only one way to succeed in his quest now. As much as he doesn't want to do it.....It is the only way.

He would have to go through the dark alley and get the bag himself.

Morty approaches the alley. He has scanned the area thoroughly for crazy hobos, and fortunately, he hasn't seen any. But he has to be cautious. They might have invented invisibility potions since he last came here.

Then, glimmering in the sunlight in a very conveniently placed ray, he sees the bag, which is glimmering in the sunlight in a very conveniently placed ray, which is very convenient for Morty.

He looks around the area again and tiptoes over. There it is. The hobo had just left it there. He crouches down to pick it up, because this one time, he saw an informative poster about how bending over to pick up objects could cause injury to his back. Because of that, Morty is now informed and educated, and picks up objects in a smart way, like he is doing now with the plastic bag.

He is crouched down on the ground inspecting the plastic bag for its contents. And then he hears it. A deep rumbling noise, like a tractor. And then it picks up in a very wobbly way, like a tractor getting drunk at a party. And then............ Right behind him…

"I'm gonna get you, Morty."

Morty grips the plastic bag extremely tight in his hands. He can't say anything, not even daring to turn around. Actually he does turn around. And what he sees will SHOCK you!

He slowly turns around. And what he sees SHOCKS him.

Actually it doesn't. It is the hobo, charging forward at full speed. There is no time to get up and run. Morty throws the plastic bag in front of his face and hopes his death will be quick.

"AaaaaAAAAAAIM GONNA GET YOU MORTY!!!!" screeches the hobo at full velocity. Morty weeps silently and the hobo is now in front of him. He had stopped running.

He stares deep into the hobo’s eyes as the hobo crouches down in front of him. The pee smell grows a little stronger, and Morty recoils.

The hobo’s voice is now deep and understanding. It is nothing like the shrill screech it had been before. "It's okay Morty," he says, looking into Morty's terrified face. He puts a hand on Morty's shoulder. "......I get you."

"Uhhhh okay," says Morty, staring at the hobo's hand on his shoulder.

The hobo takes his hand back, and Morty thinks he is going to take a shower when he gets back home. "I understand," says the hobo, nodding understandingly.

"Thhh-that’s umm, good to know," Morty says, slightly nodding as well in an awkward way. He wants to run away from this uncomfortable situation but he cannot escape the hobo's gaze.

Then he sees it. Or rather him. A tall silhouette has appeared in the alley. It looks like the figure is wearing a dress but Morty knows better.

"Ricc," he cries out. The hobo turns and sees Rick.

Rick steps out of the shadows. "W-what the hURRP????!" In 1 hand is his butter thrower and in the other is a bootle.

He drinks all the contents in the bottle and tosses it onto a dumpster where it lands perfectly.

"R-R-R-Ricc!!" Morty says again, thoroughly relieved.

Rick sighs loudly. "THIS is what you were post-postponing giving me my URRRRP butter for?? This?!?!?" He says, flailing his arms around the alley.

"Hand over the g-goods, Morty." Morty hands them over and stares at Ricc expectantly. Or rather he stares at Ricc's back expectantly because Ricc is leaving.

"No..." Morty whispers. He doesn't want to be alone here, with the hobo.

"I get you, man," says the hobo. A single tear rolls down Morty’s cheek. Truly, this is the worst ending.

**The End**


	2. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Ending: 36

_Morty grips the plastic bag extremely tight in his hands. He can't say anything, not even daring to turn around. Actually he does turn around. And what he sees will SHOCK you!_

Morty slowly turns around, and he sees the hobo in full view, HD 1080p this time. Something else that was HD 1080p was the knife that the hobo held and was pointing at him.

"O-O-o-oh!!!! Ah! Uh h-h-h-hey there," says Morty, who is a little nervous.

He takes a cautious, slow step away. And the hobo takes a step forward. And Morty knows he only has one chance at escape. Clutching the grocery bag tight, he turns with extremely high speed and begins to run.

But the hobo is faster. He grabs Morty by the arm. "Not so fast, Morty," he says. Morty tries to break free but the hobo has a membership to the local gym, and is pretty ripped. He has an eight pack.

"No!" Morty cries. But he can't stop the knife going through him. That wound would need at least 5 bandaids, but alas Morty has none as he sinks to the cold concrete.

The hobo stands over him. Morty cannot help but stare at him and wonder why.... why would he do such a thing? His earlier words had been fulfilled. Truly, he had gotten Morty. He closes his eyes and lets unconsciousness take over. 

And a while later, he opens them. He is alive for some reason.

All of his clothes are gone, including all the money in his pockets. The hobo had taken everything. Even his hair is gone. The hobo had taken his hair and shaved his eyebrows as well. Morty lies there, bald, naked, eyebrowless, afraid. He realizes the groceries are still there.

He also realizes that there are several stab wounds on his chest, all bleeding heavily. He is growing weaker by the moment. Eventually he closes his eyes for the final time and dies, bald, naked, eyebrowless. A tear is rolling down his cheek. Morty Smith has hit his unfortunate end. 

Meanwhile Ricc is getting impatient in the garage.

"W-W-where is that Gosh Dang Morty when you URRRP need him?" screeches Rick angrily. He punches a big block of butter that is hanging on the wall. "Ahhh that hit the spot," he says.

Anyway Morty's absence is becoming a problem. Ricc needs that butter, fast. He waits a few more seconds. Ahhh! Where had his grandson gone?! Was going to the grocery store too complicated for him? Ricc decides to call Morty on his cellphone.

The hobo piccs up, but Ricc doesn't know that. "M-M-M-M-M-M-URRRRP MORTY! WHERE ARE YOU! GRANDPA NEEDS HIS --URRRP-- BUTTER."

The only thing Rick hears from the other end is intensely heavy breathing. _Gee why did I have to get the weird Morty,_ thinks Rick.

"Morty" hangs up. "Weirdo," says Rick. But being very smart, he knows something is up. His Morty isn't THAT weird.

Ricc runs outside the garage, all the way to the grocery store. But Morty is not there! He would have to track down Morty by his brainwaves. After a very detailed scene, he finds Morty's location. It is just a little bit away from the grocery store, in an alley.

Locating the alley on his advanced alley locating technology, he makes his way, preparing himself for what he might see. He sees something glimmering in a big patch of sunlight. It is.....a bald, naked person! _Wat?_ Ricc thinks to himself.

As he gets closer he realizes this isn't any ordinary bald, naked person lying on the ground in an alley. 

It's his very own Morty, bald and naked. 

He looks into Morty's eyes and inspects his eyebrowless face. So it's true. Morty is dead. He smells a little like pee so Ricc backs up a little as he decides his next course of action. The grocery bag is there with all its butter and lewd magazines and Morty is thoroughly dead, so Rick decides to make a run for it. He grabs the bag. But wait. He also takes his portal gun and sets the portal destination to a local funeral planet. 

"See ya Mortie," he says, no tears coming from his eyes. This Rick had lost his tear ducts in an accident long ago, during his country western phase when he was 11. He shoots a portal underneath the thoroughly dead Morty, sending him to the funeral planet, and runs.

In the shadows, a hobo comes into the light and takes a disgusting large bite out of a sticc of butter. His knife, once bloody, is now doused in butter. His entire body is greasy and buttery. "Haha, I sure love butter," he says.

**The End.**


End file.
